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High Fidelity
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Choose life. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a big television. Choose a future. Choose a blog... :)
(Freely adapted from Trainspotting's opening scene)
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Tuesday, October 23, 2001
Ana, thanks a lot, sweetie. Yes, it does help to hear words like yours. Hell, make this blog work so I can link you to cyberspace, will ya? See you on Friday, hopefully... how about lunch at the mall after class?
If I survive this week at work, I can face anything. And the only one I can blame for being stuck in the middle of a huge pile of paperwork is myself!
Vicky's new mantra "ishallnotprocrastinateishallnotprocrastinateishallnotprocrastinateeeee"
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Sunday, October 21, 2001
After a weird, weird week... here I am.
I was right a few weeks ago, when I told my best friend things were just too quiet, too calm, too... normal. Whenever this happens, I know there is a storm gathering. And I'm not being dramatic, it's just the way things happen to me.
So after being emotionally shaken, haunted by old ghosts who insist on staying in my life (or is it me who can't let them go?), I'm rationally shaken. Decisions to make, pros and cons to ponder. Shit.
I'm not exactly complaining, me the ever-adventurer, the risk-taker, the brave girl (hahaha; these words are not mine, I have been described so though). I just wonder why is that everything always comes at once. There is a limit for what one can bear in a few days.
Yes, I like challenges, I hate dull routines, I want to push myself to the limit. Yes. But I need some kind of direction to follow, and right now I'm at a total loss.
And maybe I'm writing this here, in English, because it gives me some feeling of safety (what a joke). My mother tongue leaves me more exposed.
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Friday, October 19, 2001
I have CERTAINLY neglected this blog lately. Got so enthralled with the Portuguese version, ended up actually not posting anything here for the last two weeks. Let's make it up for it now...
Just finished my class at the British Council. Sidney tells me I'm ready for a masters, and I don't know whether to feel pleased or terrified.
Ana's by my side, learning to deal with this blogger thing. Hopefully she'll master the basics soon, and I'll give you guys the link for her page... Hang in there!
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Friday, October 05, 2001
And I've finally found out what a lava lamp is, thanks to Joe. No, I haven't got one.
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Hmmm I feel like I'm neglecting this since I started the Portuguese version... but I have to try and keep both blogs working, and the other has still so start to "look like me".
So, bear with me, or use the link below ;)
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Thursday, October 04, 2001
Well now I have a blog in Portuguese :) If anyone's interested, here's the link.
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Wednesday, October 03, 2001
Another musical note: I might be totally out of my mind, but I do think Dave Matthews' voice incredibly resembles Eddie Vedder's.
Has anyone there got the same impression?
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Expe talks about Jonny Lang and the Commitments, and I feel a sudden urge to go to submarino and see if they have Jonny's CDs there. I have his first album, "Lie to me", recorded on tape. I got it from one of my ex-students who happens to be a blues fan. But I have to confess tapes don't strike my fancy too much these days. So I should add one more priority to my already extense CD shopping list.
As for the Commitments, it's one of my favourite films ever! Alan Parker at his best. I absolutely love the scene when Jimmy Rabbit is doing auditions to choose the members of the band. A punk-looking lad declares his main influence is Barry Manilow (Xinha, are you reading this?), another has the door slammed on his face when he starts singing The Smiths' "Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now" (an all-time classic) and another mistakes the queue of wannabe artists for a drug-scoring place...
Expe, don't you think "51st state" is pushing a little too hard? :)
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I don't know why, but I have Pulp's "Sorted out for E's and whiz" running through my mind.
"At four o'clock the normal world seems very very very far away..."
Did Jarvis mean four o'clock am or pm?
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Now why does this city have to be SO hot?????
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Okay, I'm all set:) Heading for work now... Paulo, thanks again, buddy.
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All's well that ends well!
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A last little adjustment... let's see...
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One more little test... just want to make this better, folks... bear with me...
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YAY!!!!!! It IS working!!!!
Million thanks to Paulo Capiotti - check his blog, it's awesome - who had the patience to guide me through this...
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Testing to see if the comments link is working...
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I swear I MEANT to go to bed, but then I decided to send the power rationing to hell and take a looooong relaxing shower, after all I am a Child of God and deserve it. The late news are on, and it's the same old same old. It seems like that corrupt SOB Jader Barbalho (who, unfortunetly, represents my home state at the Senate; what a shame) will finally renounce. As if corrupt politicians renouncing is news in Brazil...
Holiday resolutions:
1. Tidy my bedroom and organize my wardrobe before I have no place to sleep.
2. Update my reading. That means finishing LOTR and getting back to the Holy Trinity - Clarice Lispector, Virginia Woolf and Katherine Mansfield.
3. Update my sleeping. Morpheus is surely missing me.
4. Go for a walk on the beach just for the sake of it (and to follow Sidney's advice).
Nice, eh?
Highlight of the day: one of my aunts gave me an old picture of my dad she had been keeping in her wallet for years. He should be around nineteen, he was a student at the Air Force School. The picture must be around 50 years old but it is still very good.
Little treasures you keep... I need a picture frame now, to put it on, together with one of mum in her wedding dress.
Actually, I'm supposed to give the pic back to my aunt, but that won't happen before I have it properly copied :) The wonders of technology...
Now I'm REALLY heading for bed.
Hasta la vista baby
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Tuesday, October 02, 2001
Back to the way it was before; tomorrow I'll see if I can have my comment links...
I need I need I need to learn html
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Well I did manage to install the link, but it isn't working - so I'm gonna be smart and ask for Expe's help tomorrow.
Bed beckons... nighty night
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Let me see if I managed to make this reblogger work
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Thanks God tomorrow it's test day and all I have to do is watch and help the students. I'm sooooo tired. Counting the days until the Teacher's Day holiday...
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Gil says in her blog that I misunderstood her: it is Expe who wants Joy Division's CD box, not her, she actually has never even heard the band.
Well, Gil, ask your boyfriend to introduce you to Mr. Ian Curtis & Co. and you'll see why I want to name my son Ian :)
"No I don't know which way
Don't know which way to turn
The best possible use
Just passing through till we reach the next stage
Just to where, well it's all been arranged
Just passing through but the break must be made
Should we move or stay safely away?"
(From safety to where..., by Joy Division)
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From "Jornal do Commercio" of today:
"Congressman Gilvan Costa made a speech yesterday in the State Council, asking for the cancellment of Recifolia, which will take place this month".
For the ones who don't have a clue about what the heck Recifolia is, I explain: it is an "off-season Carnival" which makes Boa Viagem district become my idea of perfect hell.
If this man manages to have it cancelled, he's gonna have my eternal gratitude... and my vote next election.
That's it.
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Well, as the Manic Street Preachers say...
And I just hope that you can forgive us... but everything must go...
Life goes on.
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Weird, weird sensation.
Death in the family, even if it was a distant relative, always comes as a shock.
My cousin's 19-year-old son was killed in a crash yesterday. Honestly, I can't remember having ever met him. But I guess the whole thing has triggered a feeling of mortality that really scares me. That old feeling of time going by and that old fear of not having enough of it. It's so frightening, how frail life is.
I went to the funeral to keep my daddy company. I can't say I was feeling anything related to loss and grief, because I'm not very close to my father's family and I think I'm only "his daughter" as far as they are concerned. But it was a weird, weird day.
And as things happen in the most unexpected ways, I felt closer to daddy today than I have felt in a long long time. While we were coming home, he told me old stories of his Air Force days as he was driving... and it was like when I was a little girl and he took me to the park on Sunday evenings, and we always had to be home before nine because he wanted to watch the football report. My dad is a very special man. I'm really proud of him.
Sometimes I feel like I'm talking more to myself than anything else in this blog. But isn't this the point anyway? Or am I wrong?
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Monday, October 01, 2001
Okay now it seems to be working. Class time!!!!
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Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
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Hmmm does this have a mind of its own? The template changed and I'm sure it wasn't me... checking
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Okay I like this one better! I love blue, but I guess the page needed a bit more of colour :)
And you know what, I guess I'll have a new template every now and then... I don't like routines, you know :)
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Sounds like Daft Punk... one more time...
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Didn't like that one. Trying again...
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Changing the template... let's see how it looks
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Funny how reading other people's blogs bring old memories back.
Last night I was clicking on one link after another, and ended up reading a really nice blog written by Cristiane França - who happens to love Breakfast at Tiffany's, one of my favourite films (I love when Holly, Audrey Hepburn's character, says that when she finds a real-life place that makes her feel the way she feels at Tiffany's she will buy some furniture... when I find a place that makes me feel the way I felt in London, maybe I'll settle down). I remember walking down Fifth Ave. in New York City, with my Nikon camera at hand, and staring at the American flag and the clock together with the name "Tiffany's & Co... The picture came out great!
And Cristiane mentions a song also named Breakfast at Tiffany's, by an obscure American band called Deep Blue Something. I remember I used to play this song on my show (have I mentioned I used to be a radio DJ?) and I really loved the lyrics. With due credit to Cristiane, here are the words :)
You say that we've got nothing in common
No common ground to start from
And we're falling apart
You'll say the world has come between us
Our lives have come between us
But I know you just don't care
And I said "what about Breakfast at Tiffany's?"
She said, "I think I remember the film,
And as I recall, I think, we both kinda liked it."
And I said, "Well, that's the one thing we've got."
I see you - the only one who knew me
And now your eyes see through me
I guess I was wrong
So what now? It's plain to see we're over,
And I hate when things are over
When so much is left undone
And Expe innocently mentioned a man who played a major role in my teenage dreams... Gary Lineker, the star of England's football team in 86/90. Now THAT is a man of class. I know Expe was talking about his talents as a footballer, but... well, has anyone ever heard of hormones?
That's all for now folks.
PS. I looooove Marta's coffee...
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Things to do this week:
1. Organize my three lockers (I work in three different schools, go figure the mess)
2. Send Marcia's letter
3. Take my Claddagh ring to the jewellery store to be fixed (it broke for the third time but I can't find a new one in Brazil)
4. Call Vitoria and arrange a date for us to have lunch, dinner, whatever
5. Correct ALL tests and fill ALL report cards before Sunday
6. Do my homework and send it to Sidney by email
7. Record Gavin's and Na's tapes.
Vicky recites her mantra "iwillnotforgetanythingiwilnotforgetanythingiwillnotforgetanything"
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It's just another manic Monday... anyone there remembers the Bangles? :)
Well, actually it hasn't been so manic. People say for everything bad, something good comes. The good thing about not teaching the 9:30 class is that I can come home earlier, check my email, update my blog, eat decently and get some rest :)
Expe and I talk on ICQ about his blog and the traffic in Recife. Some people ask me why is that I don't get myself a car. Well, one of the reasons is that whenever I have saved money enough to buy a nice car, I wonder how far I'd go with that money and I end up going on a trip (countdown for my January holidays start tomorrow - three months to go). But actually, thinking about driving in this mad town freaks the hell out of me. It's not only because the city has more cars than the streets can take; it's that the people here drive like psychos. They simply don't know the basic rules of traffic politeness. And I don't need yet another reason to get stressed, do I? So, I put my headphones on and let the bus (or van) drivers do the dirty job for me...
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A little poetry to finish the evening with... and start a new day :)
(an excerpt from Matthew Arnold's "Dover Beach")
Ah, love, let us be true
To one another! for the world, which seems
To lie before us like a land of dreams,
So various, so beautiful, so new,
Hath really neither joy, nor love, nor light
Nor certitude, nor peace, nor help for pain;
And we are here as on a darkling plain
Swept with confused alarms of struggle and flight,
Where ignorant armies clash at night.
Sweet dreams, everyone :)
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