High Fidelity
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Choose life. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a big television. Choose a future. Choose a blog... :) (Freely adapted from Trainspotting's opening scene)

Tuesday, October 15, 2002

. . .
Tuesday, October 23, 2001
Ana, thanks a lot, sweetie. Yes, it does help to hear words like yours. Hell, make this blog work so I can link you to cyberspace, will ya? See you on Friday, hopefully... how about lunch at the mall after class?

If I survive this week at work, I can face anything. And the only one I can blame for being stuck in the middle of a huge pile of paperwork is myself!

Vicky's new mantra "ishallnotprocrastinateishallnotprocrastinateishallnotprocrastinateeeee"

. . .
Sunday, October 21, 2001
After a weird, weird week... here I am.

I was right a few weeks ago, when I told my best friend things were just too quiet, too calm, too... normal. Whenever this happens, I know there is a storm gathering. And I'm not being dramatic, it's just the way things happen to me.

So after being emotionally shaken, haunted by old ghosts who insist on staying in my life (or is it me who can't let them go?), I'm rationally shaken. Decisions to make, pros and cons to ponder. Shit.

I'm not exactly complaining, me the ever-adventurer, the risk-taker, the brave girl (hahaha; these words are not mine, I have been described so though). I just wonder why is that everything always comes at once. There is a limit for what one can bear in a few days.

Yes, I like challenges, I hate dull routines, I want to push myself to the limit. Yes. But I need some kind of direction to follow, and right now I'm at a total loss.

And maybe I'm writing this here, in English, because it gives me some feeling of safety (what a joke). My mother tongue leaves me more exposed.

. . .
Friday, October 19, 2001
I have CERTAINLY neglected this blog lately. Got so enthralled with the Portuguese version, ended up actually not posting anything here for the last two weeks. Let's make it up for it now...

Just finished my class at the British Council. Sidney tells me I'm ready for a masters, and I don't know whether to feel pleased or terrified.

Ana's by my side, learning to deal with this blogger thing. Hopefully she'll master the basics soon, and I'll give you guys the link for her page... Hang in there!

. . .
Friday, October 05, 2001
And I've finally found out what a lava lamp is, thanks to Joe. No, I haven't got one.

. . .
Hmmm I feel like I'm neglecting this since I started the Portuguese version... but I have to try and keep both blogs working, and the other has still so start to "look like me".

So, bear with me, or use the link below ;)

. . .
Thursday, October 04, 2001
Well now I have a blog in Portuguese :) If anyone's interested, here's the link.

. . .
Wednesday, October 03, 2001
Another musical note: I might be totally out of my mind, but I do think Dave Matthews' voice incredibly resembles Eddie Vedder's.

Has anyone there got the same impression?

. . .
Expe talks about Jonny Lang and the Commitments, and I feel a sudden urge to go to submarino and see if they have Jonny's CDs there. I have his first album, "Lie to me", recorded on tape. I got it from one of my ex-students who happens to be a blues fan. But I have to confess tapes don't strike my fancy too much these days. So I should add one more priority to my already extense CD shopping list.

As for the Commitments, it's one of my favourite films ever! Alan Parker at his best. I absolutely love the scene when Jimmy Rabbit is doing auditions to choose the members of the band. A punk-looking lad declares his main influence is Barry Manilow (Xinha, are you reading this?), another has the door slammed on his face when he starts singing The Smiths' "Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now" (an all-time classic) and another mistakes the queue of wannabe artists for a drug-scoring place...

Expe, don't you think "51st state" is pushing a little too hard? :)

. . .
I don't know why, but I have Pulp's "Sorted out for E's and whiz" running through my mind.

"At four o'clock the normal world seems very very very far away..."

Did Jarvis mean four o'clock am or pm?

. . .
Now why does this city have to be SO hot?????

. . .
Okay, I'm all set:) Heading for work now... Paulo, thanks again, buddy.

. . .
All's well that ends well!

. . .
A last little adjustment... let's see...

. . .
One more little test... just want to make this better, folks... bear with me...

. . .
YAY!!!!!! It IS working!!!!

Million thanks to
Paulo Capiotti - check his blog, it's awesome - who had the patience to guide me through this...

. . .
Testing to see if the comments link is working...

. . .
I swear I MEANT to go to bed, but then I decided to send the power rationing to hell and take a looooong relaxing shower, after all I am a Child of God and deserve it. The late news are on, and it's the same old same old. It seems like that corrupt SOB Jader Barbalho (who, unfortunetly, represents my home state at the Senate; what a shame) will finally renounce. As if corrupt politicians renouncing is news in Brazil...

Holiday resolutions:

1. Tidy my bedroom and organize my wardrobe before I have no place to sleep.
2. Update my reading. That means finishing LOTR and getting back to the Holy Trinity - Clarice Lispector, Virginia Woolf and Katherine Mansfield.
3. Update my sleeping. Morpheus is surely missing me.
4. Go for a walk on the beach just for the sake of it (and to follow Sidney's advice).

Nice, eh?

Highlight of the day: one of my aunts gave me an old picture of my dad she had been keeping in her wallet for years. He should be around nineteen, he was a student at the Air Force School. The picture must be around 50 years old but it is still very good.
Little treasures you keep... I need a picture frame now, to put it on, together with one of mum in her wedding dress.

Actually, I'm supposed to give the pic back to my aunt, but that won't happen before I have it properly copied :) The wonders of technology...

Now I'm REALLY heading for bed.

Hasta la vista baby

. . .
Tuesday, October 02, 2001
Back to the way it was before; tomorrow I'll see if I can have my comment links...

I need I need I need to learn html

. . .
Well I did manage to install the link, but it isn't working - so I'm gonna be smart and ask for Expe's help tomorrow.

Bed beckons... nighty night

. . .
Let me see if I managed to make this reblogger work

. . .
Thanks God tomorrow it's test day and all I have to do is watch and help the students. I'm sooooo tired. Counting the days until the Teacher's Day holiday...

. . .
Gil says in her blog that I misunderstood her: it is Expe who wants Joy Division's CD box, not her, she actually has never even heard the band.

Well, Gil, ask your boyfriend to introduce you to Mr. Ian Curtis & Co. and you'll see why I want to name my son Ian :)

"No I don't know which way
Don't know which way to turn
The best possible use
Just passing through till we reach the next stage
Just to where, well it's all been arranged
Just passing through but the break must be made
Should we move or stay safely away?"

(From safety to where..., by Joy Division)

. . .
From "Jornal do Commercio" of today:

"Congressman Gilvan Costa made a speech yesterday in the State Council, asking for the cancellment of Recifolia, which will take place this month".

For the ones who don't have a clue about what the heck Recifolia is, I explain: it is an "off-season Carnival" which makes Boa Viagem district become my idea of perfect hell.

If this man manages to have it cancelled, he's gonna have my eternal gratitude... and my vote next election.

That's it.

. . .
Well, as the Manic Street Preachers say...

And I just hope that you can forgive us... but everything must go...

Life goes on.

. . .
Weird, weird sensation.

Death in the family, even if it was a distant relative, always comes as a shock.

My cousin's 19-year-old son was killed in a crash yesterday. Honestly, I can't remember having ever met him. But I guess the whole thing has triggered a feeling of mortality that really scares me. That old feeling of time going by and that old fear of not having enough of it. It's so frightening, how frail life is.

I went to the funeral to keep my daddy company. I can't say I was feeling anything related to loss and grief, because I'm not very close to my father's family and I think I'm only "his daughter" as far as they are concerned. But it was a weird, weird day.

And as things happen in the most unexpected ways, I felt closer to daddy today than I have felt in a long long time. While we were coming home, he told me old stories of his Air Force days as he was driving... and it was like when I was a little girl and he took me to the park on Sunday evenings, and we always had to be home before nine because he wanted to watch the football report. My dad is a very special man. I'm really proud of him.

Sometimes I feel like I'm talking more to myself than anything else in this blog. But isn't this the point anyway? Or am I wrong?

. . .
Monday, October 01, 2001
Okay now it seems to be working. Class time!!!!

. . .

. . .
Hmmm does this have a mind of its own? The template changed and I'm sure it wasn't me... checking

. . .
Okay I like this one better! I love blue, but I guess the page needed a bit more of colour :)
And you know what, I guess I'll have a new template every now and then... I don't like routines, you know :)

. . .
Sounds like Daft Punk... one more time...

. . .
Didn't like that one. Trying again...

. . .
Changing the template... let's see how it looks

. . .
Funny how reading other people's blogs bring old memories back.

Last night I was clicking on one link after another, and ended up reading a really nice blog written by Cristiane França - who happens to love Breakfast at Tiffany's, one of my favourite films (I love when Holly, Audrey Hepburn's character, says that when she finds a real-life place that makes her feel the way she feels at Tiffany's she will buy some furniture... when I find a place that makes me feel the way I felt in London, maybe I'll settle down). I remember walking down Fifth Ave. in New York City, with my Nikon camera at hand, and staring at the American flag and the clock together with the name "Tiffany's & Co... The picture came out great!

And Cristiane mentions a song also named Breakfast at Tiffany's, by an obscure American band called Deep Blue Something. I remember I used to play this song on my show (have I mentioned I used to be a radio DJ?) and I really loved the lyrics. With due credit to Cristiane, here are the words :)

You say that we've got nothing in common
No common ground to start from
And we're falling apart
You'll say the world has come between us
Our lives have come between us
But I know you just don't care

And I said "what about Breakfast at Tiffany's?"
She said, "I think I remember the film,
And as I recall, I think, we both kinda liked it."
And I said, "Well, that's the one thing we've got."

I see you - the only one who knew me
And now your eyes see through me
I guess I was wrong
So what now? It's plain to see we're over,
And I hate when things are over
When so much is left undone

And Expe innocently mentioned a man who played a major role in my teenage dreams... Gary Lineker, the star of England's football team in 86/90. Now THAT is a man of class. I know Expe was talking about his talents as a footballer, but... well, has anyone ever heard of hormones?

That's all for now folks.

PS. I looooove Marta's coffee...

. . .
Things to do this week:

1. Organize my three lockers (I work in three different schools, go figure the mess)
2. Send Marcia's letter
3. Take my Claddagh ring to the jewellery store to be fixed (it broke for the third time but I can't find a new one in Brazil)
4. Call Vitoria and arrange a date for us to have lunch, dinner, whatever
5. Correct ALL tests and fill ALL report cards before Sunday
6. Do my homework and send it to Sidney by email
7. Record Gavin's and Na's tapes.

Vicky recites her mantra "iwillnotforgetanythingiwilnotforgetanythingiwillnotforgetanything"

. . .
It's just another manic Monday... anyone there remembers the Bangles? :)

Well, actually it hasn't been so manic. People say for everything bad, something good comes. The good thing about not teaching the 9:30 class is that I can come home earlier, check my email, update my blog, eat decently and get some rest :)

Expe and I talk on ICQ about his blog and the traffic in Recife. Some people ask me why is that I don't get myself a car. Well, one of the reasons is that whenever I have saved money enough to buy a nice car, I wonder how far I'd go with that money and I end up going on a trip (countdown for my January holidays start tomorrow - three months to go). But actually, thinking about driving in this mad town freaks the hell out of me. It's not only because the city has more cars than the streets can take; it's that the people here drive like psychos. They simply don't know the basic rules of traffic politeness. And I don't need yet another reason to get stressed, do I? So, I put my headphones on and let the bus (or van) drivers do the dirty job for me...

. . .
A little poetry to finish the evening with... and start a new day :)

(an excerpt from Matthew Arnold's "Dover Beach")

Ah, love, let us be true
To one another! for the world, which seems
To lie before us like a land of dreams,
So various, so beautiful, so new,
Hath really neither joy, nor love, nor light
Nor certitude, nor peace, nor help for pain;
And we are here as on a darkling plain
Swept with confused alarms of struggle and flight,
Where ignorant armies clash at night.

Sweet dreams, everyone :)

. . .
Sunday, September 30, 2001
Man, isn't Dave Matthews band just amazing.

. . .
Back from the mall (yes, I did shop, got new shoes, SO WHAT?) and from the movies. Saw a really stupid flick called "The fast and the furious". It was worth it, though, for the cars and for not spending a Sunday afternoon watching mind-numbing TV shows.

I open my email box and find a message from Mark, another good friend from Canada (he begins his msg with "this is Mark from Toronto" - as if I would ever forget him!) He says he thinks my blog is "funny", hehehe. And complains about the snow in Canada, and asks me if I'd trade places with him - well, I left Toronto before wintertime and the only time in my life I saw snow was when I was 3, in Curitiba, so... yes I'd love to, Mark, anytime! (Funny how people are never contented) :)

. . .
Yay! I finally saw my blog in the "most recently updated" when I signed out :)

. . .
Final lap!!!!!!!!

Barrichello's out. There comes Mika... way to go, man, just a few metres... whoo hoo!!!

Congratulations Mika, David, McLaren team, Ron Dennis!!! And Jo Ramirez, enjoy your retirement, you've done a great job!!!!!!

So this is it
1. Mika Hakkinen
2. Michael Schumacher
3. David Coulthard

Now let's wait for Suzuka and see how it goes...

. . .
Okay, the adjustments worked

Ooooops Barrichello's engine seems to be about to blow up, there is a lot of smoke coming out of his car. Now Hakkinen leads followed by The Rat and David Coulthard.

. . .
test test test

. . .
Humpft. Jacques is out. Hakkinen leads after Barrichello had to go to the pits. I'd love to see Mika winning :) 22 laps to go!

. . .
And now this idiot DeLaRosa decides to push Jacques off-track. Brilliant.

. . .
Shiiiiiiiit, Montoya's car broke down!

. . .
Whoo-hoo! 33th lap, Montoya gets the fastest lap and overtakes Schummy the Rat and is leading now! Go Montoya gogogoooo!!!

. . .
20th lap, Barrichello leads the race (I'm totally appalled, Schummy the Rat actually let him overtake so he can try and go for a win, and secure the vice-championship), Jacques is still 17th. So far, a particularly disappointing one.

. . .
Waiting for the race to begin, and meanwhile making a few adjustments here :)

. . .
Okay this is silly but totally irresistible - I got it from Expe's blog so I'm giving him the credit, have a look at his answers too :)

Act or direct?: Act
Adidas, Nike, Reebok? None, I don't wear sports clothes or tennis shoes
Alaska or Hawaii? It would depend on my mood and my purpose
Aloha or Hola? None, I prefer Cheers
Any tattoos and where of what? None, but I'd like to have a Claddagh symbol on my shoulder or neck
Are you a good listener? I try to be
Are you a good student? I do my best
Are you currently in a relationship? No
Are you involved in sports? I watch car races
Bacon bits or croutons? None
Be serious or be funny? I prefer to be funny or, if the occasion calls, ironic
Beef or Chicken? Beef
Birthday? March 16th, 1972
Birthplace? Belem, Brazil
Blonde or brunette? Oh, you mean me? I have dark brown hair
Blue eyes or brown? Dark brown, but I wish they were blue
Bow tie or tie? On a guy? No shirt ;)
Cat or dog? I don't have any pets, I live in a flat
Chinese or Japanese? Japanese
Christmas or Halloween? Christmas
Coke or Pepsi? Coke
Color or black-and-white photos? It depends on the subject (yes, Expe, I agree)
Cool Ranch or Nacho Cheese? None
Disneyland or Universal Studios? Universal Studios
Do long distance relationships work? No comments
Do you believe in astrology? Not sure
Do you believe in God? Absolutely
Do you believe in love at first sight? Used to, not sure anymore
Do you consider yourself the life of the party? Depends on the party
Do you currently like/love [as in a boyfriend girlfriend type of way] someone? No
Do you have a car? No
Do you have a deep dark secret no one knows except you? As if I'd tell anyone
Do you have a job? Yes, and I love it
Do you have a lava lamp? What the heck is a lava lamp?
Do you have a pager? No
Do you have a personal phone line? Yes, and a cell phone too
Do you have a pool or hot tub? None of them, but oh I wish I had a tub
Do you have a trampoline? No
Do you have lots of friends? I have many acquaintances and a few very close friends
Do you have siblings? Yes, a younger brother
Do you make fun of people? Sometimes
Do you think dreams eventually come true? Some of my dreams did, some others became live nightmares
Domino's or Pizza Hut? Pizza Hut. I have never eaten at Domino's
Dream car/truck? A silver Porsche or a red Ferrari. We're talking about dreams, right?
Dreams or reality? Both
Eat an apple or an orange? Apple
Elmo or Cookie Monster? Doesn't matter
Emerald or ruby? Ruby... and pearls
Fav movie? Blade Runner
Fav song at the moment? "Sail away" by David Gray, "Crystal" by New Order
Fav thing to do? Read
Fav breakfast food? Coffee, no food
Fav Candy? Chocolate
Fav Color? Blue. To wear, black
Fav Day? Friday
Fav Food? Anything Italian
Fav Gum? I don't chew gum
Fav season? We don't have seasons in the Northeastern coast of Brazil. Ideally it would be winter
Fav Room? Mine
Fav school subject? History and Literature
Fav Soundtrack? Blade Runner, Moulin Rouge
Fav Sport? Car racing
Fav thing to do online? Talk to friends, send and get email, write this blog
Favorite Comedian? None I can remember now
Favorite body part of the opposite sex? It depends on the guy! I have a weak spot for eyes though, specially blue
Favorite cartoon? Tom & Jerry, Bugs Bunny
Favorite Television show? X-Files and Pretender
Favorite Band/Singers? It'd be a long list, but as an example I'll give you Joy Division and Radiohead
Favorite Ice cream? Chocolate
Favorite shampoo or conditioner? Pantene
Favorite spice? Cinnamon
Future Job? Professor at a University. Now I'm just a teacher :)
Glasses or contacts? I have perfect sight.
Go to the movies or rent? I prefer going - it's a ritual: queue, get the tickets, buy popcorn, wait for the lights to go out, watch the trailers and, of course, the final credits
Gold or Silver? Silver
Got a crush on anyone? Jacques Villeneuve
Green beans or carrots? None
Is the glass half empty or half full? Full, I'm an optimistic person
Happy and poor or rich and sad? Rich and happy (way to go, Expe)
Hard top or convertible? It depends on the weather (ditto)
Hardcover books or soft cover books? Any will do, as long as the book is good
Have you ever been convicted of a crime? No!
Have you ever done something you regret now? Yes, but I'd probably do it again
Have you ever gotten a ticket for speeding? I don't drive
Have you ever lost someone you loved? I didn't lose him, he lost me.
Have you ever moved? My father is an Air Force Officer, that should tell you
Have you ever stolen anything [from a store]? I don't think so
Have you ever thought of killing yourself? Yes, and of killing people too :)
Have you ever witnessed a crime? No, thank God
Have you met your soul mate? Not yet, but I still have hope :)
Height? 1,60 m or 5'4
High school or college? University
How's the weather right now? Too hot for my taste
Hug or kiss? Both
Hugs or kisses from the opposite sex? Both, at the same time :)
Hurricane or Tornado? None
Is it POP or SODA? Gee. Who cares.
Jacket or sweater? Sweater
Kids or no kids? I might change my mind, but right now no kids please
Last CD[s]: Pet Shop Boys' Discography and Dave Matthews Band's Crush
Last person you talked to on the phone? My friend Cecilia
Last time you showered? Yesterday
Left or right? Right
Long hair or short?: Long
Loud or soft music? Both, it depends on the situation
Love or hate? Love
Love or lust? If they can come together, great :)
Low fat or non fat milk? Low fat
Lunch or gym class? Gym class? What gym class?
McDonalds or Burger King? McDonald´s
Mustard or ketchup? None
Natural or bleached hair color? Natural (though I have dyed mine red)
Newspaper or magazine? Both, and also books
Night or day? Night
Non-Sport activity you enjoy? Reading, sleeping
Number of Pillows? One, sometimes none
Pet Peeves? Ahn?
Piano or guitar? Guitar
Piercings and where? I have both ears pierced four times
Place you want to live? London or Oxford, England
Place you'd like to visit? Rome, Paris, Sydney
Rain or shine? Rain
Rap or rock? Rock
Read or write? Both
Receive letter or call? Both
Regular or diet? Regular
Rice Krispie treat or Brownies? Brownies
Roller blade or roller skate? Do you want me to have an accident? None, of course
Romance or Action Movie? Any kind of movie
Simple or complicated? Complicated, of course
Singing or dancing? Singing AND dancing
Single or taken? Single
Snow or water? Water
Someone you can't live without? There are a few. My mum, my dad, my best friend Marcia just to mention some
Spin-the-bottle or truth or dare? Truth or dare
Stay up late or wake up late? Both
Straight or curly? Both
Summer or Winter? Winter
Sun or moon? Moon
Tall guys/girls or short guys/girls? Both, if he's tall I can wear high heels
Things you collect? CDs and books
What are you doing tomorrow? Sleep till late and watch the F1 race
What color is your toothbrush? White
What color pants do you have on right now? I'm not wearing pants, I'm wearing a black dress
What color socks are you wearing? None
What do you drink? Coffee, water, coffee, cappuccino, coffee, Coke, vodka, Bailey's
What is your greatest fear? Loneliness
What makes you vomit? Pagode and axe music
What's on your computer screen? My wallpaper you mean? Jacques Villeneuve's helmet
What's right next to you? My bed
What's your bedtime? Weekdays, around midnight; weekends, around 2 am
What's your best physical feature? I'm not the one to say
What's your favorite Disney movie? Cinderella
What's your favorite radio station? X FM in London, Edge FM in Toronto, Transamerica FM here
What's your name backwards? enaiviV
When do you get up in the morning? At about six
Wonder or amazement? Wonder
Word or phrase you overuse? "shit" and "what?"
Would you wait to have sex until you're married? You gotta be kidding me
X or O in Tic-Tac Toe? Whatever!
X-Men or X-Files? No possible choice between Mulder and Wolverine :) Both!

Funny, eh? :)

. . .
Talking to Vitoria on ICQ. It'd been months since we talked last and yet I feel like we talked yesterday.

True friendship never fades away.

. . .
I forgot about Edward Burns the other night while writing my list.

He isn't only a handsome face, though - he's a very good film director/screenplayer who made a great movie called "The Brothers McMullen". I liked the film so much I bought a Claddagh ring (it's a traditional Irish ring, he gives it to his girlfriend in the movie) in London a few years after I saw it. If you have seen him in "15 minutes", please disconsider, he's way better than that!

And Expe, he has nothing to do with Ben Affleck.

. . .
Saturday, September 29, 2001
Song (and flashback) of the day

JEALOUSY (Tennant/Lowe)
At dead of night, when strangers roam
The streets in search of anyone who'll take them home
I lie alone, the clock strikes three
And anyone who wanted to could contact me
At dead of night, 'til break of day
Endless thoughts and questions keep me awake
It's much too late

Where've you been?
Who've you seen?
You didn't phone when you said you would!
Do you lie?
Do you try
To keep in touch? You know you could
I've tried to see your point of view
But could not hear or see
For jealousy

I never knew time passed so slow
I wish I'd never met you, or that I could bear to let you go
At dead of night, 'til break of day
Endless thoughts and questions keep me awake
It's much too late

Where've you been?
Who've you seen?
You didn't phone when you said you would!
Do you lie?
Do you try
To keep in touch? You know you could
I've tried to see your point of view
But could not hear or see
For jealousy

I never knew 'til I met you

This is also very good sung by Dubstar, available in a compilation named "Come Again". Well worth a try!

. . .
F***ing hell, 18th place!!!!

. . .
Now isn't this so typically Vickyesque. As I couldn't post from work, I spent all day trying to make mental notes of my ideas so I could write them here later, but now it all seems to have gone away. Maybe it's because my mind is sort of shutdown.

The highlight of last night was getting back in touch with David (I have mentioned him here before, he's the Leafs fan). I sent an email to a bunch of people telling them about this blog, and he emailed me back and we got to chat through Yahoo! messenger. David is a dear friend - he gave me a lot of support last year when I was going through pretty rough times while living in Canada, I always think fondly of him - and he's also a GREAT guy (yes, girls, the good news is that they still exist, the bad news is that they are really hard to find). I really miss our long conversations over coffee in my kitchen, or on the phone - Dave, if you ever read this... luv ya, mate!

This last week was really unusual, and it brought me some nice surprises as the on-line reunion of my Uni friends, and also the starting of this blog :) Lisa and Jeff also left me a message on ICQ - some other Canadian friends :) It's always good to hear from people you love, and to know you are being missed... if only Jeff didn't keep teasing me by affirming that Ricky Martin is Brazilian!!!

Bad, bad news from Indianapolis. Schummy the German Asshole has the pole position for the race tomorrow. Three times shit.

I have to check my email for a F1 newsletter and see how Jacques did... be right back

. . .
Oh well.

I tried to post from work, but the computer was slooooooower than an Arrows car, and it didn't register what I wrote. Hmpft.

Hard day at work - the classes went quite well, but I went to bed too late last night, (this morning actually!) and I guess I'm not used to teach all day on a Saturday anymore. All in all, it was a good day, though. I went to the mall for lunch - and ended up having only a cappuccino, because my favourite coffee shop has just been reopened after refurbishing and I couldn't resist it. It has the best coffee I have ever tried, it even beats Starbucks! And of course, I HAD to get into a record store... (I feel like the main character of a book I was browsing the other day: "The Dreamworld of a Shopaholic). This time I got something I had been wanting for a long time: Pet Shop Boys' "Discography". Anyone who grew up during the 80's, like myself, is bound to have the PSB as the soundtrack of one or two key moments... I confess: in the moment I put my headphones on and "West End Girls" started playing, I was kinda thrown back in time to Afonso's 20th birthday party... he used to throw the best parties during University times!!! And coming back home a few minutes ago, I caught myself singing along to "Always on my mind" (thankfully, there was nobody in the street).

A few people have been accusing me of working too hard and stressing myself out these last weeks - like today, doing more hours than usually because I was replacing a colleague. Maybe they are right, but I seem to become more and more involved with work and studying, and even though it is tiresome at times, I can't slow down... I told Sidney yesterday that slow is a word I have deleted from my vocabulary. I have always had this impression that I'm running out of time and life will just go too quickly for me to get all I can from it... (it reminds me of that poem - I went to the woods because I wanted to live deliberately, to suck out the marrow of life) Strangely enough, last night I was watching the MTV (once again) and they played "Not enough time" by INXS (not enough time... for all that I want...). Coincidence or synchronicity?

. . .
It's five to three and I have to teach a class at eight, so I'm going to tell my insomnia to leave me alone and head for bed.

But before I go...

Maybe I shouldn't be recommending this to you at this time of the night, but it occurred me, and what is a blog for? Buy, borrow, copy, download, steal, but get Portishead's live album, "Roseland NYC live". Pay closer attention to the tracks "Glory Box", "Roads" and "Sour Times", conveniently put one after the other. Beth Gibbons's voice singing "give me a reason to love you... give me a reason to be... a woman" is the perfect expression of what my beloved John Keats once said: "a thing of beauty is a joy forever".

Music and poetry can make one mad, you see?

Good night :)

. . .
The news are on, and the issue is war.

Is it "the end of the world as we know it"? Well, this time Michael Stipe isn't right, I don't believe anyone is feeling fine...

. . .
And as for Depeche Mode... take a look at this masterpiece

Somebody (from the album "Some Great Reward")

I want somebody to share
Share the rest of my life
Share my innermost thoughts
Know my intimate details
Someone who'll stand by my side
And give me support
And in return
She'll get my support
She will listen to me
When I want to speak
About the world we live in
And life in general
Though my views may be wrong
They may even be perverted
She'll hear me out
And won't easily be converted
To my way of thinking
In fact she'll often disagree
But at the end of it all
She will understand me

I want somebody who cares
For me passionately
With every thought and
With every breath
Someone who'll help me see things
In a different light
All the things I detest
I will almost like
I don't want to be tied
To anyone's strings
I'm carefully trying to steer clear of
Those things
But when I'm asleep
I want somebody
Who will put their arms around me
And kiss me tenderly
Though things like this
Make me sick
In a case like this
I'll get away with it

Now, seriously: isn't this eveyone's dream? Well, maybe not. Some people seem to be contented just by having a date. Not me. I want a kindred, mate, or I'd rather stay single... As Alanis says, "what I wouldn't give to find a soulmate, someone else to catch this drift..."

Am I getting softer as I get closer to 30?

. . .
Friday, September 28, 2001
Now wasn't Expe right, this Americanas site is really good and an invitation to bankruptcy. Why is that I can never resist to CDs? Three are already in my shopping cart: Train's "Drops of Jupiter", Depeche Mode's single "Behind the Wheel" and Daniel Ash's "Foolish Thing Desire". No shipping fees if you buy 3 or more items, how convenient ;)

Also good for shopping for music (been there, done that) are submarino and somlivre. Now back to my spending spree... :)

. . .
Hmmmm. I love strawberry yoghurt.

Just woke up from a quick nap after my Spanish class (skipping two in a row would have been too much, and it was actually a nice one, although I've been feeling quite tired lately and would have preferred coming back home earlier). I check my email (nothing too interesting), the autosport site (the usual quarrel between the groups anti- and pro-Schumacher) and some cool blogs :)

The news are on, and I hear Hakkinen had the best practice times in Indianapolis this afternoon. Some people might say he isn't talented enough to be two-times World Champion (and sometimes I'm inclined to agree) but the F1 Circus will surely miss his honesty and fair play. I would like to see him winning his last career race.

Gil talks about her love for car racing and Ayrton Senna in her blog today. She and I have many common ideas about it, apart from her having lost her hope in Jacques's ability to be a real challenge in F1 - I agree he's made a questionable move leaving a top team like Williams to start his own, but Gil, he IS a hell of a good driver, and the only one who has the guts to face and go against Schumacher (Irvine is only a big-mouthed guy, and as for Montoya, it's only his first F1 year so he hasn't got that much influence yet). Wait until he lays his hands on a good piece of machinery again...

I don't know when or how I started to be a racing fan. My most remote memory about F1 is Ronnie Peterson's death, in Monza, 1978. I was only six years old and already watched the races. What I remember next is Piquet's first championship in '81, and then Gilles Villeneuve's death in '82 (one of the most impressive accidents in all F1 history). Then, in '84, Senna came... and I found my best reason to wake up early every Sunday morning. I'm a passionate person. I can't understand why people get into things with no feeling for what they're doing. And man, Senna loved racing. You could feel it. Actually, you still can.

When he died in '94 (yes, I remember that morning in May, when Galvao Bueno said "Senna has crashed badly" and for the longest ten or fifteen minutes I have ever spent in front of a TV screen, I prayed he would stand up and leave the car walking and unharmed), my love for the sport didn't fade. Still, I needed someone to cheer for as I did for Ayrton, and amongst the F1 drivers there wasn't anyone I really, truly admired that much... then the SBT started the F-Indy season transmissions, and I saw Jacques driving to be the second at Indianapolis, and then rookie of the year... and then in '95 when he won the 500 miles coming from two laps behind, I knew I had found someone worth supporting :)

I haven't, as Gil, had the pleasure to see an F1 race in Interlagos, or anywhere else (although I will, I will, go to Monte Carlo and Silverstone someday). But I went to the CART GP in Toronto last year, and let me tell you, anyone whose heart doesn't skip a beat when the PA comes out with "Gentlemen, start your engines" simply doesn't have a heart. The sound of the cars and the cheer of the crowd was one of the most incredible experiences in my life.

Those magic moments which life is made of...

. . .
Amazing how a song can make me happy.

I always have problems in the morning choosing which CD I'll have in my DiscMan (aka Bobby) for the day. It really depends on how I feel; sometimes I want something light and cheerful, other days something more somber. Today I chose an obscure and sublime English band called Adorable.

I discovered Adorable (and some other good bands) through my friend Stuart, who worked at the school with me for a few months back in 1997. Being English, his musical taste had a lot to do with mine and we spent hours talking about bands and songs and stuff, and once he asked me if I knew Adorable. I didn't, and he promised he'd try to remember the name of their albums so I could look for them. Well, shortly after he went back home he made a cassette with a compilation of Adorable songs and sent me. I went mad about the band. I was extra-careful with that tape for a long time, since I was really afraid of losing it or breaking it or whatever - but last year, when I went to New York for a week, I found both Adorable albums (unfortunately, the band doesn't exist anymore, but they did leave us these two little masterpieces), Against Perfection and Fake, as a special offer for 7 bucks at Fifth Avenue HMV... God exists, you see, people?

Well, if you ever have the chance to listen to Adorable, you'll see the name of the band is more than adequate. Anyone interested? I can always make a tape for you :)

"Though your submarine is out of sight, still you're hunting me like the harbour lights..." True enough... some things keep coming back even when you think they're gone forever...

. . .
I caught myself humming The Stereophonics' "Have a nice day" a few minutes ago. It kinda reflects my state of mind today... But hey, follow me: it's a Friday, the sky outside is bluer than blue, and... I'm happy to be alive and healthy! It's one of those days when life seems perfect... :)

Sidney (my teacher at the British Council) accused me of hijacking her activity in the class this morning because I started to ramble about my blog... but I'm so excited about it, hehehe (guess you can notice). You might think it's hard to wake up early on a Friday to go to a class... but nothing can make me miss Sidney's class. I love the woman. One day, hopefully, I will know half as much as she does... And the class is SO much fun! The girls are great to be with. We laugh and learn and have a good time together. Ana and Valeria are sitting here at the computer room at the BC, both checking emails I reckon. They are probably going to read this later, since I'm telling loads of people about this blog (I'm such a show-off), but they know me well enough to be assured I wouldn't say anything good about them unless I actually felt that way... so hey girls, let me tell you, you kick ass!!! (a Canadian expression that means you're awesome, in case you got confused). And a special "hello" to Ná as well... your tape will be ready by next week, I promise ;)

One more comment about the Pretender episode of last night: I love that song, but it conveys a terrible sense of loss. Gee, that really set me thinking. And hey Gil, Michael Weiss is not German, he's from Chicago!

I'm going to read some blogs :) Catch ya l8r

. . .
Well I couldn't help it, I went to The Pretender site to snoop around it and see what's going on since they are having the fourth season in the USA and here we are having the third. And I found the name of the guy who plays Tommy (Miss Parker's bf), Jason Brooks. I could include him in the list I wrote last night!

. . .
Bloody hell. This was about the saddest Pretender episode I've ever watched. I take back everything I said about Miss Parker early on - I could even sympathize with her this time, sheesh. Her boyfriend (as the Joker said in Batman The Movie: "Stop the press, who's that?" - where do they find those cuties?) gets killed, and Jarod tries to make her see the Centre was behind the plot, and all you hear during the whole show is Sarah McLachlan's "Angel" (I'm having a masochism burst-out and listening to it as I write), and it almost made me cry. Sometimes I don't believe how stupidly sentimental I can get. But hell, check the lyrics

Spent all your time waiting for that second chance
For a break that would make it okay
There's always some reason to feel not good enough
And it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction or a beautiful release
(...) To find some peace tonight

Rob Fleming (or Gordon, whatever)'s dilemma: "Do I listen to music because I am miserable? Or am I miserable because I listen to music?" fits right here.

. . .
Thursday, September 27, 2001
Oooops. Pretender's on!!!

. . .
Hurra! It works! And sometimes I consider myself computer-illiterate... I'm not doing bad at all!!!

You can also try
vivsilva@yahoo.com or vivianefontoura@yahoo.ca or yet VickyFontoura@aol.com

Feedback about my blog will be most welcome, and I promise to answer asap!!!

. . .
Let me try to give you the link to email me...


. . .
And since I'm giving you cool links, try this one: nme. It's the New Musical Express magazine site. When I was in London, I used to buy it every week. You can download videoclips and songs, and get the latest news :) Also highly recommended is XFM - the best radio station in England, mate!

. . .
It wooooorked!!!

Okay here you have the link to the F1 site,
Autosport and the one to imdb. Hope you enjoy! Autosport is in Portuguese, though, folks. Sorry!

Also very important is Jacques's official website!!!

I'm really enjoying this blog thing... :)

. . .
testing if I can put a link here (Expe is teaching me, via ICQ). It's his blog, by the way :)

. . .
It's so good to get home at the end of one more working week. It gives me a feeling of "mission:accomplished", really different than the feeling I have at the beginning of some weeks, when it looks way more like "mission:impossible". My last class went well, I believe the students really enjoyed it. I did :)

My new addiction is an incredibly delicious cookie named Club Social, which I discovered at my class at the British Council and eventually found out mum had been buying for some time. I'm halfway through the first packet and there's a second waiting. Chocolate comes next, whoo hoo!

I was reading Gil's blog - in case you're reading mine, girl, I'm waiting for some feedback!!! She's a Pretender fan like myself and Marcia. Damn it, isn't Michael T. Weiss a fine thing. The series is very interesting. And the idea is really intriguing. I think I'd like to be able to turn myself into whoever and whatever I fancied. Anyway, the show's on tonight (laaaaaaater on). I wonder what that bitchy Miss Parker (why is it that we never know her name?) will come up with this time around. Bottom line, she has the hots for Jarod, and that's what gets her so pissed off :)

. . .
Surfing the net, I post yet another comment to one of my favourite F-1 sites (www.autosport.com.br) and read Expe's blog. He talks about songs that make him happy. Which ones would get into my list?

Hum... Movin' on Up, by Primal Scream (which I saw live at The Guvernment in Toronto, lalalalalala) is a strong candidate... Roll with it, by Oasis... Just like Heaven, by The Cure... and lately, Flowers in the Window by Travis, and 60 miles an hour by New Order. "I don't know if I've told you... but I'm seeking sanctuary..."

And who isn't?

. . .
One more class to go... and tomorrow is FRIDAY!!!!

Good day so far, taking into account my mind just decided to assume her confused little self. How could I ever get the date of the teachers' meeting wrong? And I was the one who was supposed to give the workshop; if Eline hadn't been confused too, I'd be in deep trouble. But I can swear by God I didn't know (or notice) the date had been changed. I've been kicking myself all day long.

The bright spot about it is that I'll have more time to prepare the workshop and by next month the results of my writing project will have started to show. Hope the students do come up with good texts (are you reading this, class? If you are, go write your notebooks!)

Well, all's set for the evening class (my lovely Shakespeare in Love video session!), I guess I'll have some coffee :)

. . .
This thing is mad, why did it post my last text twice???

. . .
Before I go to work, I have to finish what I was saying about little things that give you hope - well, yesterday one of my pre-intermediate students, Pedro, came up with a song request (the students love having songs in class). Can you believe he wanted Dave Matthews Band's "I did it", and even brought me the CD so I could record it on tape for using in class? And Pedro is what, 14 I guess. Kids like Cecilia and Pedro make me believe this generation still can be saved... :)

. . .
Before I go to work, I have to finish what I was saying about little things that give you hope - well, yesterday one of my pre-intermediate students, Pedro, came up with a song request (the students love having songs in class). Can you believe he wanted Dave Matthews Band's "I did it", and even brought me the CD so I could record it on tape for using in class? And Pedro is what, 14 I guess. Kids like Cecilia and Pedro make me believe this generation still can be saved... :)

. . .
Take my word, this is one of the best f***ing bands in the world. And if you have never heard any of their songs, you're missing a lot of beauty, man.

Bring on the new Messiah... wherever He may roam...

My first internet nickname was bunnygirl, because of these guys who called themselves bunnymen... but then people started harrassing me online because they thought it had something to do with Playboy magazine. Oh Lord.

Then I changed it into Viola (taken from Shakespeare's play "Twelfth Night"), and occasionally I use Catherine Earnshaw, the main female character in my favourite book ever, Emily Bronte's "Wuthering Heights". The problem is that Viola is also the nickname for a famous soccer player in Brazil, and people keep thinking that instead of paying a tribute to Shakespeare, I support a soccer team. Nobody understands me :(

. . .
Some little things that happen to you give you hope, you know? Take the example of some of my students. A few weeks ago I was teaching my elementary class (the one I had to leave yesterday) the use of "how much" and "how many". I was writing some sentences on the board and suddenly I hear a little voice behind me. "How many special people change... How many lives are living strange..." I turned around (couldn't believe my ears) and saw this girl, Cecilia, a bright kid who must be around 12, singing Oasis's "Champagne Supernova". It made my day.

Oh my Gooood, the MTV again... and the videoclip of Bring on the Dancing Horses... be right back...

. . .
As Sting and Mark Knopfler once said... I want my MTV... TV's on, and I suddenly hear something familiar... Holy nostalgia, Batman! It's Republica's "Ready to go", which reminds me of great times back in '97... I don't know the band well enough to talk about it but this single sets any dance floor on fire... Baby I'm ready to gooo... from the rooftops shouting out....

. . .
Talking to Expe online (I love my ICQ) and he tells me the NHL is only in the pre-season, so I don't need to stress myself out, because the results so far won't count for the championship.

So what? A defeat IS a defeat, isn't it? Or would you be happy just because the game your team lost wasn't official? grrrrrrrrrrrr

. . .
Good morning everyone... This is a song by George Harrison which I really love - this post is dedicated to Ayrton Senna, Jacques Villeneuve, Alex Zanardi and all car racing fans like myself :)


Chose a life in circuses
Jumped into the deepest end
Pushing himself to all extremes
Made it - people became his friend.
Now they stood and noticed him
Wanted to be part of it
Pulled out some poor machinery
So he worked 'til the pieces fit.
The people were intrigued
His wife held back her fears
The headlines gave acclaim
He'd realized their dreams.
Faster than a bullet from a gun
He is faster than everyone
Quicker than the blinking of an eye
Like a flash you could miss him going by
No one knows quite how he does it but it's true they say
He's the master of going faster.
Now he moved into the space
That the special people share
Right on the edge of do or die
Where there is nothing left to spare.
Still the crowds came pouring in
Some had hoped to see him fail
Filling their hearts with jealousies
Crazy people with love so frail.
The people were intrigued
His wife held back her fears
The headlines gave acclaim
He'd realized their dreams.
Faster than a bullet from a gun
He is faster than everyone
Quicker than the blinking of an eye
Like a flash you could miss him going by
No one knows quite how he does it but it's true they say
He's the master of going faster.
No need to wonder why
His wife held back her fears
So few have even tried
To realize their dreams.
Faster than a bullet . . . (repeat chorus)

"Faster" is inspired by Jackie Stewart & Niki Lauda. Dedicated to the Entire Formula One Circus.
Special thanks to Jody Scheckter. In memory of Ronnie Peterson.

. . .
*rolling my eyes* I don't care if this is working or not. I'm going to bed!!!!!!!!

. . .
*exasperated look*

Last try...

. . .
Changing the template, everyone, I want to make this more homely. And this time I swear I AM going to bed.

. . .
A last thought for tonight (dedicated to Marcia, Vitoria, Afonso, Kleber, Cecilia, Krista and Carla)

Friendship is precious, not only in the shade, but in the sunshine of life. And thanks to a benevolent arrangement of things, the greater part of life is sunshine.

Thomas Jefferson

. . .
Before I go to bed:

This can't be my personal site, journal, whatever without The Bard.

So if you have never read anything he wrote, this should make you run to the next bookstore as soon as they open tomorrow morning.

Brace yourself.

Sonnet CXVI

Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark,
That looks on tempests, and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come;
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error, and upon me prov'd,
I never writ, nor no man ever lov'd.

William Shakespeare

Bid me farewell, friends :)

. . .
I don't have to wake up early tomorrow. I don't have to wake up early tomorrow. I don't have to wake up early tomorrow!

I was reading Expe's "ideal team" (in his case, his team of gorgeous women). Hmmmm. Let me think. I can choose eleven for the main squad plus... five reserves? (this is football, folks. Any Americans reading? So this is soccer)

Jacques Villeneuve (it's MY team, he comes first), Ewan McGregor, Hugh Jackman, Larry Mullen Jr and Ethan Hawke; Kenny Brack, Damon Albarn, John Cusack and Ryan Phillippe; Ralph Fiennes and Guy Ritchie.

Reserves: Patrick Carpentier, Jenson Button, Brad Pitt, David Duchovny and Michael Owen.

A girl can dream...

I'm off to bed. Good night everyone.

. . .
This text was supposedly written by Sir Laurence Olivier. I don't know if it is true, but the reading is worth a try anyway.


Stand before me, on the sign of infinity,
All you in the Earth.
With the granting of the law of provenation (creation),
Comes the application of change.
I will give you the key
And, with this knowledge, please realize,
Comes the responsibility of sharing it.
I will show you the way.
It's very simple.
Throughout the Universe, there is order,
In the movement of the planets, in nature,
And in the functioning of the human mind.
A mind that is in its natural state of order,
Is in harmony with the Universe,
And such a mind is timeless.
Your life is the expression of your mind.
You are the creator of your own universe,
For as a human being, you are free to will
Whatever state of being you desire,
Thru the use of your thoughts and words.
Ah!... There is great power, there.
It can be a blessing or a curse.
It is entirely up to you.
For the quality of your life is brought about
By the quality of your thinking.
Think about that.
Thoughts produce actions.
Look at what you're thinking.
See the pettiness, and the envy, and the greed,
And the fear, and all the other attitudes
That cause you pain and discomfort.
Realize that the one thing you have absolute control over is your attitude.
See the effect that it has on those around you.
For each life is linked to all life,
And your words carry with them chain reactions,
Like a stone that is thrown into a pond.
If your thinking is in order,
Your words will flow directly from the heart,
Creating ripples of love.
If you truly want to change the world, my friend,
You must change your thinking.
Reason is your greatest tool.
It creates an atmosphere of understanding,
Which leads to caring, which is love.
Choose your words with care,
and go forth, with love.

Beautiful, isn't it? And it suits our times very well...

. . .
Wednesday, September 26, 2001
Well, I didn't go to sleep after all, the bloody match is over and the Leafs lost, five-two. Damn it. Browsing for F1 news, and it looks like Hakkinen will not race at Indianapolis. Which reminds me I won't be able to go to the movies with Cecilia next Sunday, because the race is in the afternoon. Cecilia is one of my best long-time friends. She has a weak spot for Argentinians, shrimp and Keanu Reeves, not necessarily in this order. Okay, I have to admit I'm curious to see Matrix 2. But as for movie stars, I still prefer Ewan McGregor. Man, the bloke can actually sing!!! I have to see Moulin Rouge again, by the way (it'll be the third time).

Funny how my train of though goes from Toronto to Edinburgh in a few lines :)

. . .
Surfing the net, someone mentions Wim Wenders, and I remember Wings of Desire, one of my top ten films. It's so inspiring, so moving, so full of hope. And so absolutely comforting. Angels watching over us, poor silly mortals, and whispering words of wisdom (thanks, Macca) in our ears in libraries... maybe we don't pick up a book randomly, after all...

. . .
Shit, shit, shit. Five-two now. I should go to sleep.

. . .
Shit. The Red Wings have reacted and are winning now, 3-2. I hope the Leafs do something about it!

. . .
They're playing Dido's videoclip, "Hunter", on the MTV. I'm not very fond of women's voices, I much prefer listening to a guy singing (if he sings with a British accent, it's irresistible), but I really like this girl. I even bought her CD - which I highly recommend. This song is one of my favourites. I specially like the lines " (she) wants to be a hunter again, wants to see the world alone again, to take a chance on life again, so let me go, let me leave". I guess it can apply both for someone who wants out of a relationship and for someone who has already come out, but haven't come to terms with it yet.

Vicky, the philosopher...

. . .
I'm watching the MTV and Thunderbird has just mentioned the concert Echo will play in São Paulo.

Sometimes I think Recife is the end of the world.

We have the (reportedly) best concert hall in the country and... does Echo come? Of course not. Does Eric Clapton come? Not a chance. But that stupid bitch Ivete Sangalo is playing next weekend. It really pisses the hell out of me.

But then again, who has ever said life is fair? :(

. . .
Just checked Yahoo sports, and the Leafs are winning the match :) 1-0 against the Detroit Red Wings.

And if you're curious about why a Brazilian girl would get interested in ice hockey, well, credit it to my complex personality :) Seriously now, I really became a fan while living in Toronto (hence supporting the Leafs - they didn't get to the finals last year but they are the local team, and I guess David would have killed me if I had decided to support another one). I guess I watched every single match during the finals, between the Dallas Stars (I was hoping they would win because I got a crush on their star Mike Modano) and the New Jersey Devils. The final match was awesome. Too bad I don't have cable TV - but I'm planning on changing this situation very soon!!! Meanwhile, I follow the championship standings online :)

. . .
Home, sweet home...

I have an icy glass of Coke on my table, and it is just what I needed to start my evening with!!

This blog thing is surely addictive - I was thinking about it on my way back home, and was wondering if it isn't because it gives everyone the chance of having therapy without a psychologist... well, a massive group therapy, I should say.

Expe asked me a few months ago how my "top five" song lists would be. This is what I came up with at that time. I might have to rethink it, but it can give you an idea of my style... hehehe

1. 5 best songs to cheer you up

Movin' on Up, Primal Scream
Boys and Girls, Blur
Shiny Happy People, REM
I wanna hold your hand, Beatles
Inbetween Days, The Cure

2. 5 best songs to listen to while depressed (be careful!)

Love will tear us apart, Joy Division
Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now, Smiths
Everyday is Like Sunday, Morrissey
Subculture, New Order
The Killing Moon, Echo and the bunnymen

3. 5 best songs for heartbreaking

Hey that's no way to say goodbye, Leonard Cohen
Pictures of you, The Cure
I know it's over, Smiths
Atmosphere, Joy Division
With or Without you, U2
(Creep, by Radiohead, is hors-concours)

5. 5 best songs to fall in love

1. Wonderwall, Oasis
2. Friday I'm in Love, The Cure
3. I feel fine, The Beatles
4. Hello, I love you, The Doors
5. All I want is you, U2

5. 5 singles I'd take to a desert island

1. Just like honey, Jesus and Mary Chain
2. Transmission, Joy Division
3. I wanna be adored, Stone Roses
4. Bring on the dancing Horses, Echo and the
5. No surprises, Radiohead

If anyone has very similar or very different ideas, send me an email :)

. . .
Still at work, just about leaving for home. I'm tired, but not smashed like I was yesterday.

The Maple Leafs should be playing now. Go Leafs go!!!!

About sports - ridiculous is the only word I can think of - wait, no! Pathetic is good too - to describe what His Majesty, Michael Schumacher is doing. Now he wants a private jet to fly him secretly to the US so he will race at Indianapolis on Sunday. Who the heck does this guy think he is? As if the terrorists are worried about him and his over-inflated ego.... grrrrrrrrrr!

. . .
Check this out. I took the "Disney Personality test" (Expe, the things you make me do!!!) and guess what? I'm Aladdin. Aladdin! Aladdin????? Oh sod it, I don't believe those tests anyway.

Coffeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee pleeeeeeeeeeeeease

. . .
Cheers everyone...

Midafternoon at work... right after I finish writing this, I'm going upstairs for a HUGE cup of coffee. Caffeine in my bloodstream helps me go through the day.

The alarm clock did work this morning, punctually at 5:30. My first thought was "oh shit". I covered my head with the pillow but this didn't stop time from running by, so I eventually got up and was on time for work. I had a good time, I really enjoy what I do. I guess this is one of the most important things in one's life - after all, you spend the most part of your day working, you should enjoy it!

I'm being asked why I'm writing this in English. Okay. I could say "Well, this is MY blog and I'm gonna write it in any language I want" but that'd be a tad too blunt... so, here it is: most of my friends in Brazil can understand English pretty well, whereas my friends in England, Canada, the US and elsewhere don't have a clue about Portuguese. Sounds pretty reasonable, eh?

By the way - Expe was right, "Get Ready" is absolutely magnificent. I know I'm repeating myself, but I absolutely LOVE Bernie Sumner's voice. And gee, I guess he is in love. Only a person in love can write something like "Run Wild". Check this out:

Open hearts, empty spaces
Dusty roads to distant places
But all the time when I'm alone
I think of you and how you've grown
When Jesus comes to take your hand I won't let go...
You're the kind of person that I've always wanted to be with
You're really cool and you always say the right things to me
Now I'll tell you something
For my heart beats for you deep inside
You'll never be a burden and my love for you will never die

Now isn't this just sublime? Believe me, it's much better if you listen to Bernie singing it.

New Order is in the list of the concerts I want to go to before I die. Together with U2, Radiohead, Echo and the Bunnymen, and REM, in any order. Let me tell you, I have already been to a few memorable ones. The Cure, at the Molson Amphitheatre in Toronto, June 12 2000, for example. Robert Smith sings like an angel. And when he sang Fascination Street, I could have died and gone to heaven at the spot. The Jesus and Mary Chain, at the Royal Pavillion Hall in London, July 1998. John Peel (John Peel of all people - for the ones who are asking who the hell is John Peel, he is one of the most important musical journalists in the UK. He is a kind of God for me, do you understand?) comes to the stage, grabs the mike and says simply "Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the Jesus and Mary Chain". And then Jim and Will Reid start singing, and I think life is beautiful.

I'm a music freak. I'm obsessed. Rob Gordon is my hero. (The guy from High Fidelity, my soulmate, remember?) I buy CDs compulsively and the more I have the more I want. Music is like air for me; take it away and I can't breathe. I might forget my wallet, but never my DiscMan. And I do take it seriously. I can't understand how educated people can listen to rubbish such as a typical Brazilian style named (argh) pagode, which I think it is totally, utterly, completely disgusting. Why listening to trash if you have access to things like... my goodness, the Velvet Underground? (maybe I'm going too far here). Anyway. I can only feel sorry for them.

Hey, it just occurred me, I should be working. Catch ya later.

PS: If anyone wants to give me some feedback on this, my email is vivianefontoura@hotmail.com. No junk, okay, folks?

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At work. Eight minutes to go (I mean, for the class to start). It's been a nice day so far. Even though I had to say goodbye to one of my favourite groups of students! Well actually I really like all my groups. Some of the students I can even call friends... or friends-to-be. But these boys, you know... I taught them last semestre, and sometimes they could be disruptive, but I grew very fond of them... Marcello, Wilson, Glauber and Luiz. And the new girl, Cecilia, who is a natural actress. Hey, class, if you are reading this, this is for you, okay? I'm gonna miss you!!!!

It's hard when the semestre ends and you have to let them go, and even harder when something happens in the way, as it is the case, and you have to leave them halfway through. But I think they will love Ana Maria - and I hope they won't give her a hard time!

Anyway. I came to work with NO (New Order, people, remember?) in my DiscMan (I call it my "pet", and I have even given it a name- Bobby). "Crystal" is still playing on my mind.

Oops, bell rang.

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Okay, I can't sleep. It's a quarter to one. I'm watching "Programa do Jô" (for the non-Brazilians: he has a kind of David Letterman-esque talk-show, but he's much more intelligent than DL). There's a singer being interviewed who has a lovely tattoo - I have always wanted one, but I'm too afraid of the needles to get it. Maybe someday. For the moment, my four-times pierced ears should do for my rebel looks. Not that I look like a rebel, anyway.

There isn't any music playing in my room now, but I have New Order's "Crystal" running through my mind. "We're like crystal... we break easy..." The old and good Bernie Sumner. That guy can sing, let me tell you.

Gil was talking about Joy Division's box, Heart and Soul, which I have the privilege to possess. I bought it at the HMV Yonge Street, in Toronto, last year. I had been walking around the town with my friend Julie and later on we went to the cinema to watch High Fidelity. Great film. John Cusack is a cutie, by the way, and his character is my soulmate (so typical of me to find a soulmate in a movie). I could never marry a bloke with bad musical taste. Can you imagine waking up (or doing whatever) to the sound of Bryan Adams or, even worse, Skid Row? That would be reason enough to file for divorce. Anyway, I'm going off the subject. Joy Division. THE band. If I ever have a son, I'm going to name him Ian, after Ian Curtis. Someone who wrote "Love will tear us apart" and "Atmosphere" deserves a tribute.

Checking the Yahoo! sports site. The Maple Leafs play tomorrow. Living in Canada for a few months did change my life in some aspects. My English accent, which I liked to believe was somewhat British, shows now some features such as an "eh" at the end of some sentences. I miss eating poutine at the local KFC. And I became an ice hockey fan. Go Leafs gooooo! (My friend David, who says when he cuts himself he bleeds blue, must be pulling his hair out since they lost the three first games; but they seem to be coming out of the dark and tomorrow they play the Red Wings...) Also good to know Alex Zanardi, the two-times CART champion, is recovering from the injuries he suffered during the German GP. It was one of the most horrifying accidents I have ever seen! Despite having lost both legs, he is reportedly in a satisfactory condition and the doctors say he'll leave the Intensive Care Unit soon. Forza Zanardi!

Now it's serious, I'm going to bed. Hope the alarm clock works...

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Back. Everything okay with the computer, but Expe is gone. He sent me the email he had promised, though - the story which generated the film "Memento", which I saw last Friday (while skipping my Spanish class). I liked the film - the reverse editing is really smart - but it gave me a big headache, trying to get the pieces back together in the correct order.

Has anyone there heard of David Gray? He's a fantastic English singer/songwriter/guitarist who has just released his first album, "White Ladder". I was listening to it, while riding the bus downtown this morning. It's romantic in the good sense of the word, not sappy or overdone. My favourite track is "Sail away":

Now crazy skies all wild above me
now winter howling at my face
and everything I held so dear disappeared without a trace
of all the times I've tasted love
never knew quite what I had
little darling if you hear me now
never needed you so bad

Lovely, isn't it? Maybe I'm feeling sensitive after all. It happens. It's okay as long as it doesn't affect my judgement.

Anyone there wants chocolate?

Well, enough is enough. I'm off to bed. But I'm going to read a few other blogs before heading to Morpheus's arms. If anyone there doesn't know who the hell Morpheus is, before you think I have a boyfriend with a weird name, well, he is the God of sleep. And he's the only company I want in bed these days. Some things get too messy sometimes.

Well, maybe I'd change my mind if the company was Jacques (Villeneuve. Read the blog from the beginning). Or Ewan McGregor. Nevermind. It's late. See you tomorrow, everyone.

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